The man being involved in childs life?

When I was 17 I was with a guy who was 23 and I got pregnant. He left me when I was 4 months pregnant. I ended up in a hospital in a different state for 3 weeks and he never contacted me until my child was 5 months old. He left the state as soon as we returned from the hospital. Now I've heard that he wants to send money. According to what his mom told me he is going to be in jail for a few months and might serve another year of service to the military because he did not pay or return the equipment he had. My mom, child, and I were planning to go down there to visit my child's other grandparents (the guy's parents) but now he is there and she says he wont be there when we get there which will be this week. I'm worried. And would like to know information on what the laws are for when they are under military contract when they have a child with someone. I'm not sure if he was under contract or not at the time. Before I met him he just returned from Iraq and most likely has PTSD and is into smoking and drinking. And I'm also curious about how to set up or what to expect from a judge with this information. I have been hesitant on child support because then he would get his rights. I don't have a problem with him seeing his child but he hasn't been there for almost two years. I don't want my child to have a relationship with a parent who isn't willing to be there all the time. I havn't even seen him in almost 2 years. I am wondering if the judge would grant me full custody and restraining, or at least that I have to be there when he is visiting. Wondering what is the reality of it and the possibilities. I have not received money from him or anything besides a facebook message 8 months ago.